Safeguarding the Sacred

Marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman. The couple promises to love each other now and forever, they promise to be loyal to one another at all times. The Bible states, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). If they are to truly be one flesh, they will have to give themselves completely to each other and no one else.

The media of the world would suggest that married life is routine, boring, and mundane. We see plenty of TV shows, books, magazines, music, and movies that glamorize the secret life of affairs to escape an unsatisfying marriage. In the end, there is nothing glamorous about affairs! It leads to hurt, dissatisfaction, guilt, broken families, and broken people. First, I want to spell out the different ways one can be disloyal to their spouses. There are four types of an affair- fantasy, visual, romantic, and sexual.

Fantasy Affair- having an emotional attachment to someone who does not have knowledge of these feelings or with someone you have never met or will never meet.
Visual Affair- this usually involves uses of pornography and is categorized as physical because the one involved typically acts out sexually.
Romantic Affair- this occurs when an person is emotionally involved with someone other than their spouse.
Sexual Affair- this pretty self explanatory. It occurs when one gets sexually involved with someone other than their spouse and may or may not have emotional attachment.

These types of affairs and their beginnings can take many different forms, and sometimes people remain unaware of it until it's gone too far. It could start with "harmless" flirting. It also includes reuniting with your high school sweetheart or an ex over email, phone, and other forms of social media. It could also take form in fantasizing about someone that's not your spouse. Participating in pornography should be an obvious one. Being alone with someone of the opposite sex in seemingly casual circumstances can escalate too. There are many different ways that we can get caught in these traps, even unintentionally. So how do we safeguard against these situations?

Ezra Taft Benson said, "It is better to prepare and prevent than it is to repair and repent." This rings true for marriages. I believe that this topic needs to be discussed between couples because NO ONE is immune or exempt from temptation, and it will come!

• Be true to your marriage vows and covenants
• Commit to be loyal in thought, word, and action
• FLEE temptation! Don't walk, run!
• Don't complain about your spouse to others
• Serve one another often 
• Have your spouse on your mind and on your heart, they should be your number one (besides the Lord, of course)
• Spend loads of time together, stay in love 
• Practice good communication
• Make decisions now about what you will and will not do in situations with the opposite sex (for example, ride alone in a car for work purposes, have soul-searching conversations)
• Be selfless (you know what changes you need to make to accomplish this and if you don't, pray about it!)

Reference: Gardner, S. & Greiner, C. Infidelity: Protecting our Marriages.