Family Culture

In today's society we put a lot of value on the social class of an individual or a family. We define this family's social class by wealth, what neighborhood the live in, the size of their house and car, their last name, the clothes they wear, their circle of friends, where they shop, and their occupations. Unfortunately, sometimes it is by these materialistic things that we define the overall success of the family. But I would like to offer another option. The culture that we develop in our families is much more important than supposed social class that we have within our communities.



Families come from all different cultural, ethnic and religious backgrounds with different beliefs, practices and traditions. Each culture's practices do not satisfy everyone, but each culture has something to offer it's members. While countries and groups of people have their own culture, each family unit should develop their own family culture. In my Parenting class this semester, we are talking about family mission statements. I may have heard of this concept once or twice before, but I had never put much thought into it. We've been challenged to create our own family mission statement, so I have had to reflect on what I want for my future family. What kind of culture would help my family grow and reach their full potential? I would challenge everyone to think about their own family culture and think about creating a family mission statement.

Here is my first attempt at creating a family mission statement. Good luck with yours!

The Wheelock Family Mission Statement

Our family will foster an environment “…founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ…” and practice the “principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work and wholesome recreational activities.” We desire to reach our full potential as followers of Christ both as individuals and as a family. We promise ourselves and especially the Lord that we will live by these standards and the following goals we have set forth.

Faith

·         We will put the Lord as the number one priority in our lives

·         We will attend all of our meetings together in all appropriate situations

·         We will hold daily family prayer, scripture study and weekly family home evening

·         Parents (and children of age) will attend the temple at least once a month

Family Relationships

·         We will eat dinner together every night

·         We will support each in one another’s activities

·         We will meet each night as a family before prayer to regroup

Fitness and Health

·         The entire family, all together, will engage in at least two monthly cardio activities of the family’s choosing

·         We will keep one another accountable in eating a balanced diet by trying new foods and creating a weekly grocery list together

Finance

·         All members will pay an honest tithe and donate a generous fast offering

·         Parents will save 10% of paycheck (towards missions, college, vacations, etc.)

·         Parents will create a family budget and follow it!

·         We will spend to meet the needs of the family and discuss spending money on our “wants” as a family

What are you "Sinking?"

Miscommunication can be a problem, a BIG problem. This video is just a comical example. People often say that good communication is vital to a healthy, happy relationship, and it's true!

In social sciences a theory is used to explain certain phenomenon. One theory that regards phenomenon within the family system is called Symbolic Interaction Theory. This theory explains that each person is influenced and molded by their interactions and experiences. But one of the most important parts of this theory is how the individual defines each situation they are put in. Our unique perceptions come from many factors such as how we were raised, the influences we have at school and work and the other relationships we have.

An example of this theory in real life was my first semester at college. In my teenage years, I developed a sense of humor that was based in sarcasm. When I met my roommates for the first time, I didn't notice anything amiss, and it wasn't until later in the semester that we talked about the first impressions we had of each other. Almost all of them told me that they were scared of me in the beginning. They took my sarcastic nature as rudeness even though I did not intend for it to come across that way. Eventually, they discovered this was my way of joking and teasing. (Don't worry, I've changed). This goes to show that the way that people perceive a situation is very important to how they develop impressions and how relationships are formed.

Relationships are based on communication- the words we speak, the gestures we make, the facial expressions we show, and the message our body language gives off. All of these aspects of communication can be interpreted differently by everyone according to the Symbolic Interaction Theory. We all should seek to be patient with others as we try to understand how the communicate and how they perceive what we communicate to them. Awareness of this concept will increase our understanding of others and it will help us avoid offense and potentially a broken relationship.

Changing Family Patterns

Many people within the realm of politics and economics refer to this generation of young adults and youth as "Millennials." The patterns that concern marriage and family for us Millennials have changed drastically since the time of the Baby Boomers. The following list displays the areas that have changed within the last 60 years. 

Patterns that are Increasing:

• Premarital sex
• Births to unmarried women
• People living alone
• Cohabitation
• Delayed marriage
• Employed mothers of young children
• Divorce rates

Patterns that are Decreasing:

• Birth rates 
• Household size

This week in my Family Relations class, we talked about these patterns of marriage and family in society as it pertains to families in the world today. It was troubling to see these patterns occurring in the general public sphere and it was especially troubling to know that they are projected to continue in the direction they are headed now. My main concern about these patterns is the effect that they will have on the upcoming generations. Outside of a religious foundation, it will be very hard for the future children to discern what is best for them because these patterns of cohabitation, premarital sex, divorce, and working mothers are now the norm. The idea of what a family and marriage are is now becoming relative to whatever someone feels suits them best. I know that this is contrary to what the Lord had intended for His children. He laid out the pattern of marriage and family since before the world was formed. His plan will lead to happiness, yet the world is quickly abandoning His way.

Despite the family and marriage turmoil that exists in the world today, I feel confident in having a successful marriage and raising a successful family. The Lord has provided us with the scriptures, the doctrine on the family, programs for the family, and counsel from His servants to help us come off conqueror in the last days. These troubling patterns are not new to this generation of Millennials, and I still grew up in a great home with noble parents who taught me the Gospel. It’s my personal belief that they were successful in raising us. I feel like this righteous generation is proof that you can live in the world but not of the world. I can only imagine how strong my children will be because they have to be. Living the Gospel of Jesus Christ gives me hope for a strong future marriage and family. 

Lauer, R.H. & J.C., (2012) Marriage & Family: The Quest for Intimacy, Eighth Edition. New York, NY: McGraw Hill.

About Me

Hello everyone! My name is LeeAndra Wheelock, and I am a student at Brigham Young University-Idaho studying child development. The purpose of this blog is to share insights, experiences, and stories about topics dealing with family relations. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe the family is central to our lives and God's plan for our happiness. I hope to share ideas and principles that will be beneficial for my own future family and for anyone else who wants to listen! :)